Silent Hills Butcher's Awesome Adventure
by Don't hit me you silly person
Summary: I thought the Buther deserved a story, even if it is kind off retarded. Sorry for crappy grammar.
1. Chapter 1

Silent Hills Butcher's Awesome Adventure

Chapter 1. The truck that hurt me.

I never understood why he hated me so much. I tried to avoid him a lot, to not be in his way, but still. Sometimes he used to look at me in a certain way. His look was filled with hatred and disgust.

I used to look away but could still sense his hate.

Now when he was dead I still can wonder if it we ever could have been friends. Would it have turned out differently?

Could Pyramid Head ever like me?

I'm just a butcher. Sure, that truck guy might have been scared, but no one ells ever acknowledged me as something truly unique.

I am unique, I know it. I mean, I've got a knife. A big one.

Why did he hate me so? Why? Everybody loves him more than me. Fan girls everywhere are crying today, maybe even tomorrow. I don't have any fans. Who's gonna cry on my funeral?

Who is gonna cry over me? The nurses? I don't know, I don't think they like me very much. They like me better than Pyramid, though. He raped them all the time. I only butchered them.

A light touch on my shoulder. I turn around.

"Dude, seriously, you gotta help! The top of his helmet Is sticking up from the ground, we gotta dig a deeper hole!"

One of the straight-jackets, Bob, had a worried look on his face.

"Urgh", I sighed. "Why did he want to be buried sitting up in the first place?"

"We don't know", Bob said. "We just assumed he'd gone crazy after that dude had hit him with that plank so many times".

"I just can't believe he's gone", another voice said. "Killing himself. The bravest one here killed himself."

"Take it easy", Bob said and patted the bubble-head nurse on her shoulder. "No one saw it coming."

"It had to be 'Homecoming'", She cried. "We all knew it were crap, but no one told him!" Now she was crying in Bob's arms. He looked extremely uncomfortable.

I sighed and walked away. They had forgotten about my presence a long time ago. Now all I wanted is to be emo for myself.

But all of a sudden, a meteorite hit the ground and everybody were blown up except for me.

Oh no!

I saw the dead bodies of my fellow monsters and demons scattered all over the place and heard the sound of them hitting the ground.

It was so unexpected! I ran out of Silent Hill when I suddenly remembered I was a monster and people might be scared when they see me. What on earth am I going to do?

A truck were coming on the road and I were read to put my thumb in the air when it drove right in to me. It hurt a lot.

I screamed and moaned when I were lying on the ground covered in blood, swinging my knife in the air as a cold blooded killer would do.

The truck stopped and out came a man, couldn't be older than thirty, dressed in a green jacket and equipped with a plank.

"Wow!" He screamed. "Didn't mean that! Thought you were the other guy! That guy with the pyramid, you know? He's just plain scary."

"It's okay", I moaned. "Just help me out here, will ya?"

He ran towards me after I stopped swinging the knife and kneeled beside me. He gave me a drink called "Health Drink". It worked and now I was feeling fine.

"Wow, that was great!" I said happily. "What's your name, dude?"

"James", James said.

"Butcher", I said and shook his hand. "Now, after you have saved me, even if you caused the injury, means that I owe you a favor, right?" He nodded. "Okay, tell me what you want me to do."

"I want you to kill my wife."


	2. Chapter 2

Silent Hills Butcher's Awesome Adventure

Chapter 2. The favor

It was really an eye-opener going on this trip. I could actually se stuff, no more fog. I was actually thinking about getting glasses home in Silent Hill but now I understand. It isn't meant to be fog 24/7.

When I heard those words for the first time; "I want you to kill my wife", I doubted that I could do it.

I've never killed because someone told me to, I only did it because of the lulz.

But when James looked at me with his big puppy-eyes I went soft and told him I could do it.

I guess it would be fun. It could make me think of other things than Pyramid Head and that Silent Hill got blown up by a random meteorite.

I got to ride With James in his truck. He said that he lived pretty far from here so it would be faster to ride the truck.

"Why were you even driving here?" I asked. "I thought you didn't like it here".

"Well", he started. "I've got a sort of love-hate relationship with this town. It helped me get out of my denial, but it Kind of almost killed me a couple of times. I only drive here because of my new job. I deliver planks to different stores."

"Oh, okay." It sort of became quiet after that. James concentrated on his driving, carefully looking at every inch of the road in front of him. He did hit a deer, though.

I just leaned back in my seat and became sort of sentimental. Pyramid Head popped up in my head. I don't know why, but I cried a little. Even if I didn't like him that much, he did inspire me. He made me to the monster I was today. No, I can't cry. I'm a monster. Quick, say something.

"So, why do you want me to kill your wife, anyway? Can't you do it yourself?"

"Butcher", he said, still looking at the road as a very responsible driver. "After I found out that major turn of events in the end of my fantastic story in Silent Hill 2, I re-married. After a while I found out that she had needs and didn't like that I had to ask her to open the refrigerator every time I wanted a beer. So, I want her dead."

"Huh", I said, slightly scared. "Interesting story you've got there, James."

"Yeah", he said and his eyes went dark. "She will soon die."

He was obviously crazy, but I was used to that kind so it didn't bother me that much. The time went by very slow. I had counted up to 567 trees as the trip had gone on. My Ipod had stopped working after he had hit me with his truck so I couldn't listen to my favorite song, "Penny Lane" By the Beatles. When he finally slowed down in front of a red house with a rose garden I got out and understood that it was here he lived. He gave me a nod and pointed to the second window to the right. I went up to it and crushed the window with my knife. When I went in I found a chocked woman with black hair staring at me.

"Hi", I said and killed her.

I got out again, cover in blood, again. James applauded and cheered at me. He'd really appreciated my gesture. Wow, what is this feeling? I'm feeling, happy. Someone likes me.

"Great work, Butcher!" He gave me a hug.

I'm not used to hugs so I backed off a little with a nervous smile on my blood covered face.

He shook my hand instead. My first fan.

"Hey, I want to thank you a little more", he said. "Let's take a beer, okay?"

"Sure!" I said.

We didn't take the truck, it was pretty close. He showed me a path that would leave straight in to town. He told me about his experience in the town of Silent Hill and I listened to every bit of it.

The Parts with Pyramid Head in it made me feel a bit uncomfortable but I didn't show it. When he asked me about my life I didn't know what to say. No one had asked me that question before. First I told him about Pyramid Head, how he made me feel small and meaningless. I didn't know why I told him, I used to avoid talking about myself so personally, but it felt like I could talk to this crazy man.

"So now he's dead, huh? Ol' PH?"

"Yeah, we think it was 'Homecoming' that killed him", I said. "He couldn't live with the shame."

"You know", James said. "I don't know why, but it makes me feel a little sad."

"Yeah, me too. He inspired me."

"He helped me remember that I am a crazy bastard."

"I guess he weren't that bad after all."

James smiled at me, one of those psycho smiles. Then a eagle snatched him and flew away.

Crap, I thought.


	3. Chapter 3

Silent Hills Butcher's awesome Adventure.

Chapter 3. More stupid references.

I walked slowly beside the expressway, dragging my knife with me. It had started to rain and had gotten colder. I didn't know what to do now. I had no home to go to, because that place had kind off blown up, and my only friend had gotten stolen by an eagle.

I didn't even know that eagles were that strong. Now a car came driving down the road, a pink Volvo.

Hey, I thought, I could use a car. So I hit it hard with my knife, making it flip around and land in a ditch. Smoke started to come out of it and the car door opened. A man crawled out and passed out on the way, covered in blood. He was wearing quite a nice brown jacket, so I stole it. It was cold.

I lifted the car with my enormous, awesome, muscular arms and put it on the road. To my surprise the car wouldn't start. It could have been because I almost cut it in half. I sighed and got out. Now the man started to moan. Crap, he wasn't dead. I tried to kick him a little to make him stop but he wouldn't.

"Have…" He moaned. "You seen… a… little---"

"No, I've seen nothing", I said. "But you haven't seen an eagle carrying a man with a plank around here, have you?"

"Yeah, but—"

"Okay, where?"

"Over there", he said and pointed towards the woods. "But can you tell… me..."

"I can't tell you anything, sorry. Have a happy life".

I ran towards the woods, leaving the poor man. Meh, He would make it.

The rain had stopped, but it was still very cold. It was darker in the forest so I accidentally hit a tree or two. Now, where do eagles live?

"I fucking hate eagles! I will eat you soon as you let me go!"

It was a familiar voice, coming north from here. I ran fast, even with my heavy knife. When I looked up towards the tree branches the eagle was there, holding James with his beak. It looked kind of fun but I sadly didn't have my camera with me.

"Hi, James!" I yelled, excited over have finding my friend.

"Hi, Butcher!" He shouted back at me. "Now, can you please just fucking help me!?"

I didn't know what to do; the eagle was so high up. I came up with the most awesome idea I've ever, ever though off. I started to chop down the tree. This was actually a very stupid idea because the eagle got frightened and started to fly away again.

"DUMBASS!" James shouted at me.

The eagle and James were gone. And then the tree fell over me. Then it started to rain again. I was a dumbass.

I lifted the tree and got up, sighing. I couldn't do anything right. I wasn't that scary, I was a rip-off, no matter what my mom used to tell me, and my only fan I've ever had thought that I was a dumbass.

I dropped my knife on the ground and started to be emo, by sitting on a lonely rock and sigh a couple of hundred times. I've given up. James going to die a horrible eagle-related death, no matter what I did.

Then I looked up at the sky, the clouds were forming into something. I watched with my mouth open like a retard. Suddenly, I saw what it was. A pyramid.

"Butcher!" The pyramid in the sky shouted angrily.

"P-pyramid head?" I stuttered. "A-ren't you kind off dead?"

"Yeah, yeah, I know", he said. "But whatever, I have come back in the form of the magical clouds to give you a 'love yourself'-speech."

"Oh, that's cool. But I don't know if you can say anything to make me less depressed, I can't even kill an eagle."

"Dude, I can't even kill a retard with a plank. I had to kill myself because I was so bored running around that stupid room."

"So, even guys with cool pyramids on their heads can be failures?"

"Yeah, just like you. But at least we have our fan base, and I would do anything for mine. So go rescue that twit! Or ells I'll haunt you in your sleep."

"Wow, what a speech! It sounds so… improvised!"

"Yeah, I know, right?"

"Hey, Pyramid head", I said when I was ready to leave. "Did you ever hate me?"

"Well, not you personally, I just like hating things in general. Cheerio!"

He disappeared in a matter of seconds, leaving me with a 'WTF'-face. Off to rescue James. Again.


	4. Chapter 4

Silent Hills Butcher's Awesome Adventure

Chapter 4. Flashback time!

So bloody tired. The rain had stopped, but now the sun covered me in its hot beams, making me sweat. The knife hadn't getting any lighter, it still slowed me down. I didn't even know where I was supposed to go at first, but now I know. I was still going along the road, whistling or dancing out of boredom. I could hear the sound of a very angry man shouting like a crazy psychopath in the sky, but it was so far away. I'd seen the eagle a couple of times, landing on every tree branch just to tick me off. James still screamed at me and said mean things, but I knew that he didn't mean it. I think, at least. After the fifteenth tree I cut down, the eagle flew away from the forest, heading towards a big, dark, mountain.

It was a long path to go, but with my incredible muscles and awesome new self-confidence I could to anything. I remember once when I was only a small child, stabbing my aunt with a knife. She laughed and laughed while I held the blood covered knife.

"I think we've got ourselves a little Butcher", she said and looked at my uncle with a smile. She had the most beautiful hair, lingering black and shiny.

"We will get you a BIG knife when you become a big man", my uncle laughed.

Then I killed them. I just felt like it. I left them in the kitchen floor while their blood drained to go play basketball. Sometimes I look up at the sky and wonder if they're looking down at me. When I thought about it I felt kind of sad. Maybe I never should've killed them. It could feel good with a warm smile once and a while. Could a fan give me a warm smile? Is that what I want? Some one that cares. Does it really have to be a fan? Fangirls that will write fanfics and pair me up with Travis? Why can't anyone love me the normal way? I was interrupted in my thought by a big rock that stood in my way. Oh, the mountain. That was quick.

I went in and it was pitch dark. I lit the end of my knife on fire, a trick I learned in the boy scouts, and proceeded. I heard the sound of a man, shouting angrily.

"FUCK YOU,EAGLE! I WILL EAT YOU! BANANA-TREE!" It was James.

I ran further and further inside the cave until I saw a lit-up area. It was James, tied up on a chair, and the eagle hovering inside the room. I stepped in to the light and saw that the place was actually neatly decorated. IKEA-Furniture dominated and on the ground was a perfectly placed Barney the dinosaur-carpet.

"Hi, James. Again". I waved at him with a smile.

"IT ONLY TOOK YOU FIVE THOUSAND YEARS!" He was really angry.

"Whatever". I swung my knife so the fire went out and hit the eagle perfectly, covering the room with blood. It was so much easier killing the god damn thing when he wasn't allowed to fly up.

"That was easy", I said surprised.

"WAIT!" A female voice said.

A woman stepped out of the light, revealing her tormented face and a revealing black dress.

She had an angry look on her face, staring right at me.

"W-who are you?" I stuttered.

"Can't you recognize your own aunt?" she said and smile.

I know, SO unexpected.

"You can't be my aunt!" I screamed. "S-she's dead. I killed her. She's dead!"

"You stabbed me, Butch. Don't you remember? Stabbed me right in the face! Killing my husband! Revenge, Butch, I need revenge!"

"I was only kidding with the whole stabbing you thing, sorry. But why did you have to kidnap James? "

"I wanted to only make you suffer at first, so I pitched the idea for "Homecoming". I knew Pyramid Head couldn't take the shame. Ha-ha! Then I tried to kill you, blowing up Silent Hill with my blowing-up-things-magic but I failed! And when I saw you with James I knew he was the perfect bait to lead you to this cave! Where I've got my secret weapon!"

"S-secret weapon?"

"Yes!" She screamed. "Behold!"

She pressed a button and out of the cave-wall something awesome appeared. Butcher couldn't believe his eyes. It was an army of small monkeys. Yes.


End file.
